Sunday 17 June 2012

PRISONER OF WAR



This past wednesday was one of those days that you just should have stayed in bed.  It was pouring rain, I was late already for my session and I had no umbrella...typical!  So in a musty poor excuse for a raincoat I trudged along to the park.   In the wet I endure the torture in the confined space of the gazebo.  That much more intense as there is nowhere to hide...except... then my trainer noticed the grandstand was unlocked.  The BEGINNING of the END.

The grandstand is old fashioned with rows of bleachers over looking the park oval.  In a series of  squats, knee lifts, stair climbs I muddled through despite being soggy wet (rain not sweat just yet).  The addition of weights and that stupid metal bar thingo was not welcomed but still I  somehow remained upright. Really beats me?
Then the round of boxing combinations began, now this was utter agony. To  think I used to like boxing.  INCESSANT REPITIONS.  I never felt like quitting before even while I was hyperventilating during a jog but this? I was totally in unchartered territory.  

My trainer said how good would I feel doing this when Im lighter. My response?  Still SHIT.  Normally I just zone out and quite the quiet mouse but I couldn't hold the words in.
He also said something (wasnt really listening) about cheating on my food intake. REALLY? SERIOUSLY?  You think I would willingly put myself through this torture and cheat on my food intake?  Undisplined I might have been, stupid I am not.

I am not sure why this session was so terribly painful - possibly all the upper body work and weights.....Oh not to mention the hateful star jumps.  I HATE them,  According to my trainer Im not built for star jumps eg my feet/ankles.  The truth is having my boobs and gut flapping in the wind is mighty uncomfortable.

Being a sadistic sucker for punishment I had a 0510 AM!!!!  training session on friday before work.  I couldn't sleep as I was scared I would sleep through the alarm.  Sleep deprived I arrived at the park.  Thankful that it wasnt raining at least. 

I had to jog mutiple laps of the park, ok it was just x4 times interspersed with other inconsequential fitness hoopla. Lets not forget the fucking star jumps again!  All I can remember is this growing pressure in my chest that had started on wednesday and was now blooming.  Tell the truth and shame the devil.  It was anger.....towards my trainer. 

Why are you making me do this?
Can't you give me a break?  Just a small one?

At I trotted off at my pathetic pace this anger simmered in my chest.  I could only think this is how prisoners of war must be broken down.  Tortured then left to hope that the end is near yet only to commence once again. 
That anger was soon directed towards me:
He is here because you are paying him bright spark!
You're here at 5am as a consequence to your choices!
I was due for another session the next morning with little option than to suck it up cupcake - just like that.

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